Birds and Railroads

When I was very little I heard ‘I’ve been working on the railroad’ and ’someone’s in the kitchen with dinah’ while being rocked to sleep. Although these are very fond memories I sing a different song to my daughter when I rock her to sleep. I have been doing this since day one. I sang it a lot when pregnant too. It is by Kilcher Jewel (Jewel’s mom), it is called this little bird.

This Little Bird
Theres a little bird
Somebody sent down to earth
To live along the wind
Blowing on the wind
And she sleeps on the wind
This little bird, somebody sent

Light and fragile
And feathered sky blue
Thin and graceful
The sun shining through
She flies so high up in the sky
Way out of reach of human eyes

Light and fragile
And feathered sky blue
Thin and graceful
The sun shining through
She flies so high up in the sky
Way out of reach of human eyes

Light and fragile
And feathered sky blue
Thin and graceful
The sun shining through
And the only time that she touches ground
Is when that little bird, little bird
Is when that little bird, little bird
Is when that little bird, little bird
Is when that little bird dies

Granted it’s kind of morbid but it is so very repetitive it seems to work every time.

Oh Nursery Rhymes

Isn’t it nice we sing or tell our children stories from our childhood. Why yes, of course. That is until you think about them. Ring around the Rosy’s Bubonic plague, The tale of a civil war cannon in Humpty Dumpty or Mary Mary quite contrary and Three Blind Mice which were about Queen Mary I. Just so we are clear she tortured Protestants with silver bells and burned them at the stake.
Call me crazy but I choose to let these horrible tales fade from my memory not to be passed on.
I do choose to sing newer songs by Jack Johnston, Bob Marley and Jewel.

Sleep is sleep

It appears that the things everyone tells you not to do are the same things you will end up doing. Just so you know they are doing them too.
I admit it. I let my daughter sleep on me for the first few months of her life. O.k. befor eyou say to yourself ‘oh, I wont do that…’ listen. Within the first month she was born ( in December) our heat broke. It took over a week for someone to come and replace the furnace. So yes, that worked for us. When we slept ( I slept sitting upright) She was warm. The following month we had two out of town funerals. It was easy to not have to bring a playyard when traveling from one side of Ontario to the other. Then came February. Our whole household got sick. It was easier for her to breathe sleeping on an incline and I was there to fix any nose clog situations before she could not breathe.
Life would be easier for me now had she been a good sleeper from the beginning. You play the cards you are dealt. I chose to do what I did because I needed to sleep and I needed her to sleep too. I got a lot of grief from my mother in law about this but she sleeps on her own now. No one will know in JK that for a few months she slept on me.
I guess my point is that you will do what you feel is best at the time for everyone. If I am up all night how can I take care of a baby all day? There are no perfect answers. There are only better solutions. I will not say don’t do…. You know your limits and your child better than anyone or any book. Trust your judgement but listen to advice.

Loss

There is something about taking care of a small child that makes everything else secondary. I have lost someone very close to me that I love dearly. So much is going on with her funeral tommorow that with helping with that and taking care of Sophie I barley have time to think. In difficult situations someone is always the rock and the other is the basketcase. When it is between you and an eight month old, you have to be the rock. I noticed this earlier in the day but it had not hit me until just now when I put her to bed. No one needs my undivided attention. I do not need to worry about naptimes, wet diapers or being an entertainer. Then it hits you. The gravity of the situation floods your brain.
My daughter has met our entire family at funerals this year. This will be our third since January 09. Fortunately when you put a happy smiling child in the arms of someone crying, inevitably the crying stops. We had tried this theory out quite a bit.
Since we have become veterans at being prepared for funerals and wakes, here are a few tips.
The moment you arrive find out where a quiet place is to feed your child- or private if you are breastfeeding.
bring a pashmina or decorative scarf- I have used mine to cover up spit up on many areas of my shirt and also for breastfeeding. Bring a quiet entertaining toy. I recommend a fabric book – they can eat it or read it.
It is also good to bring ( in your diaper bag) a sippy cup or bottle in case you need consoling someone else can feed them. If your child is sleeping, let them. I had a lot of people who wanted to hold Sophie and she became upset with all the new people trying to take her away. I left her in her carseat (bucket) sleeping for as long as I could and was able to be there for my loved ones for the majority of the funerals. As she has grown out of her bucket, I intend on bring the Ergo carrier in hopes that she sleeps and does not shriek or cry during the funeral when she would normally be having a nap.
Lastly have an exit strategy. Sit on the end of an isle and know the route if you need to travel outside of the funeral procession. Don’t forget tissues. You will hear “Oh____ would have loved to see _____ doing _____. It is never easy and does not get better. At the very least you will be prepared.

And that was a good flight

When my daughter was just over a month old I had to fly back to my parents home for a funeral. I dreaded the flight but had no choice in the matter. My husband dropped me off at the airport barely on time. I thought ok. It is only a 45 minute flight. I rushed through everything and made it to the gate. I waited until the last minute to board the plane since Iwould have to take her out of her carseat and she was fast asleep. All was good so far. I join the end of the line and have the bucket checked. Still sleeping. I walk to the end of the plane toward my seat. I begin to feel wet. Fear sets in because if my stomach is wet that means something soaked through my shirt and my maternity jeans getting dangerously close to my underware. I rush Sophie who remains sleeping to my seat. Very awkwardly open the diaper bag and lay everything on the seat beside me. The steward comes by and tells me to be very quick since we are taking off in two minutes. Also mentioning that weather or not I am done I will have to pick her up during takeoff. At this point I look down. Great. A shit storm. No time to be grossed out. I attempt to quickly change Sophie out of her clothes ( p.s it is January). I get her mostly into a new sleeper when we begin to take off. Fortunately I have a spare shirt ( but how do I change in a plane full of people)… Once the seat belt sign is turned off I lay her down on the seat beside me again carefully and put the new shirt on top and took the other one underneath off. I fold down the gross part of my mat jeans and sigh. Only 45 minutes to go. I decide to feed her so her ears don’t pop on the way down. I am not comfortable breastfeeding in front of people- especially strangers across the aisle from me. I manage to inconspicuously feed her. I survived the flight a little smelly but the girl did not cry at all. Leaving the plane the 2 men in front of me say’ wow she is such a good baby, I am suprised she did not cry’. Smelling like poop I smile and say ‘me too’ and sprint away.

If Only I had known….

This is for all mothers or expectant mothers to laugh at or join in on. Even for fathers too. So many tales of horrible labour and blissful pregnancy, I thought I would send the truth from my perspective out there. So here I go….
My name is Amanda and it has been 71/2 months since I have been pregnant.

Size or Weight rather does matter!

When it is your first baby and the majority of your friends do not have children you may be oblivious to many things.
You may ( like myself) wander aimlessly around big baby stores trying to ‘register’ for baby things. You will without a doubt find others doing the same muttering things like…I have no idea what I need, that looks cool what is it, I dont think we need that lets get it.
I did not think about size or weight restrictions. I wish someone said look for a higher weight restriction than 25lbs. Especially on carseats and carriers. My daughter was born at 8lbs 3 and the bassinette on her ‘Play Yard’ is only good until 15lbs. For all the people out there without babies… the majority of 1 month olds are 10lbs or over. A friend of mine had a baby last month who was over 10lbs at birth!
Walking is a great way to meet people and get back to your normal size. What do you do if your area is not stroller friendly or want to walk off the beaten path. Baby carriers are fantastic!! I had a Snugli which was nice for awhile but only is good up to 22lbs. Let me tell you your back and shoulders will hurt long before you reach the limit. I am sure I am not the norm. I walk a average of 4k a day. For exercize yes but mostly to be social. I bit the bullet and bought and Ergo baby carrier. It was expensive but I love it. I have purses what seem heavier even with my 22lb+ daughter in it.
My darling sister asked me if I knew I would have to buy a new carseat and carrier before she is 6 months would I have bought the ones I had.